Heybabeimwearingurpanties
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
