so let's talk penis.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
