my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
