OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
