No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
