i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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