He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
