I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
