so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
