I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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