He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
