can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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