she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
