I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
