I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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