oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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