are you still at the devil's house?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
