and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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