you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
