Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
