Where did you get a picture of my penis
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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