He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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