Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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