You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
