Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
