He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
