Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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