There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize