The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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