I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize