She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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