CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
