yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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