I puked a lego.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
