She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
