Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
