hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
