I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
