Nicole vs. Life
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
