So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
