Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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