If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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