my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
