when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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