It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
