we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
