please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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