Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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