4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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