Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
