whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
