haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
