Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
