I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
