if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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