just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
