Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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