I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
40s are totally the cure
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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