I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
