i need an iv and a liver transplant
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
