i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
