We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
